I had discussed recently the problem of viewing pornography. In this article my focus is on sexual fantasizing is it a harmless behaviour?
From different discussion I conducted with different couples they say nothing wrong with sexual fantasizing. Their arguments based on the fact that since they refrain from sex with other partners this means that they are faithful in their wedlock.The other clicking question usually asked : Being close friends as man and lady ,but not married to each other is a form of infidelity?
According to the family psychologists its normal and healthful habit for a married man or woman to fantasize about other sexual partners. The danger only lies on the situation only when such fantasies is acted upon or being proceeded into an action.
Like viewing pornography too much sexual fantasies became a personal gratification.
The moral value behind merital fidelity is to share your sexual motive with your married partner.Whilst fantasy -fueled act is lustful and selfishness. Couples should learn to be sexually faithful to each other . This merital fidelity is a powerful weapon to assist each other and shoulder on when the memory fails.
Those who fantasies outside the wedlock are now fall in the imaginary rehearsing actions which can result into painful sexual emotions to one's mate. The problem is that you will ended up blaming your mate on sexual weakness as you imagine from those you are fantasizing.
Because you now scripting you partner with numerous weaknesses sexually because of the way you are fantasing you may ended up commit adultery. The way we perceive things and imagine them in our minds to force us to follow them. Now think of fantasies overiding you, there is a likelihood that you may proceed to follow your thoughts.
The successful marriage is emotionally beamed on the faithful commitment and exclusive devotion to your mate.
If you a bonded to your partner in a marriage life ,the mate emotionally claimed your time ,attention ,affection ,jealously against anyone you may need to share. This is the big challenge if you opt to continue your mutual close friendship with an opposite sex, other than your mate. As a result mutual friendship with a person other than your mate is morally regarded as infedelity because this form of relationship takes what is rightly belongs to your mate and enjoyed by someone else.
This form of friendship relationship possibly arise as a result of more attractiveness or empathetic than your spouse.
Consequently mutual friendship relationships alluded above can now endanger one's wedlock because the moment you may sit somewhere to share your mutual friendship and discuss personal matters which include weakness of your spouse or any disagreements you may face in your marriage family. This may be good to the true ,but majority of us we ended fall in adultery as your friend tries to quench your sexual thirst. Even if you communicate through the phone or using emails the trust is no longer exist because you may lure each other against the moral values of the marriage.
The other reason why some of us have close opposite sex friends is because we are working together,doing business together or attached to other activities ,hence we should be friends. 'Are you defensive or secretive about your marriage relationships?' 'Do you feel its good if your spouse told you that has also a close opposite friend ?'
Because of the way we are living ,it seems we are civilised to such extent that we may regard it as normal . Beware the way our hearts behaves is treacherous. Improper sexual relationships outside wedlock leads to marital disaster ,since emotional closeness influence the need to fulfill sexual intimacy.It seems that we rationalize that no romantic feelings exist when in actual fact they may. Of cause we may not get invoved in adultery because we avoid sexual penetration ,but we involved in other forms of sexual romanticism. In this case trust is now extremely difficult to restore.
Nevertheless because of the way we get attracted to each other because of different circumstances it is nice to keep friendships with close opposite sex within appropriate boundaries. Temptations do arise be vigilant to avoid the emergence of improper feelings or rationalise impure motives. If you sense that your friendship relationship threatens your marriage ,take it your strong commitiment not to lured by anything which is against the moral health of your marriage.
Naturally the marriage is found on the hard rock of a man and a woman bonded closely in a marriage relationship as the bible puts it,husband and wife shall leave their parents the two shall be one fresh(Genesis 2:24) In other words the bond of marriage love is more than sexual intimacy ,as it includes the unselfish love ,emotional bond supported by honest ,trust and commitment. those who apply marriage principles don't faced problems caused by illicit behaviours such as pornography,fantasies or fake extra -marital relationships.
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